Finding my internal compass


I posted the other day on Instagram, something that grabbed me, and I felt the need to share with you all what happened for me.

“Its no surprise that we fail to tune into our children’s essence. How can we listen to them, when so many of us barely listen to ourselves? How can we feel their spirit and hear the beat of their heart if we cant do this in our own life? When we as parents have lost our inner compass, is it any wonder so many children grow up directionless, disconnected, and discouraged? By losing contact with our inner world, we cripple our ability to parent from our essential being in the way conscious parenting requires.” Dr. Shefali Tsabary, The Conscious Parent.

Ok, so I will be completely honest here, I am a complete junky for spirituality books, parenting books, and really any book that is going to tell me how to discover, develop, or master more of my inner self whether its with parenting, yoga, nutrition, marriage…you name it I completely dig it! So get used to it, I am going to be posting a lot about some of these authors that have been game changers for me. I do this to share with you resources that have truly impacted me in a way that has made me a better person.

So back to Dr. Shefali Tsabary. This book was referred to me by a yoga instructor that I have followed for the last couple of years, Elena Brower and so far its brought to light some really interesting perspectives, but the cool thing, its not just with parenting, its with my whole self. After you look up Dr Shefali Tsabary you should look up Elena as well, she has developed an amazing practice with yoga instruction and coaching. Everyone should have a collection of peeps that inspire and make them feel good. These two ladies are just a few of mine! losing contact with our inner world, we cripple our ability to parent from our essential being in the way conscious parenting requires.”
— Dr. Shefali Tsabary, The Conscious Parent

My internal compass, where did it go? Where is my direction and how do I get back to where I need to be?

When I read this paragraph in the book I had to stop and put the book down. WOW! That is so very true. How in the world can my kiddos navigate this crazy world if I am spinning and not able to come to find my internal compass?

I loved this.

As I have been working through some of my own personal struggles and journeys over the last few years I feel like I have begun to find that internal compass, but it is so very easy to get off-track. Now is my time to work on the hard stuff, its time to dig deep and see what I can discover about myself and how to bring myself back to my internal compass.

Yuck, that’s really hard, and really scary too. It’s going to pull out things that I am not ready for, and things that are going to be uncomfortable. But that’s the good stuff, starting to be in that space and feeling the shift and the softening take place.  Most of all, I offered up forgiveness to myself when it isn’t working out the way I planned.

So, these last couple weeks I have been doing simple meditation focusing on my inner light, and allowing healing to happen.  Check out my last blog post and get some great instruction on this simple mediation. I began reflecting on what was happening in my external world regularly and seeing how it was affecting me as a whole. Let me be clear, this is nothing wild and crazy, I am sitting for 10-20 minutes with a simple mantra and seeing what comes up. That is all, two or three times a week right now, that is just my reality.

BAM! It hit me!

I hate being alone, and will do just about anything to avoid it! I will make myself busy all the time, take on way more than I can handle and stay busy. As I reflected on this I realized that I have done this all my life!

What is up with that??

Well, I can tell you. I didn’t want deal with my shit (sorry, sometimes its necessary!). I didn’t want feel much, and I trained myself very early on that if I just keep moving then I can run from my internal compass and not have to really feel or deal with anything.  I found over time that being social was a way for me to not have to deal. But, then I started feeling really down, my body started hurting, and I could tell this was something I needed to pay attention to. So I did, I started very slowly to make a shift and now, I can sense when I am going down that path of avoidance and I can make note and decide whether I need to change the situation. It’s a process and I still am stumbling on a regular basis, but at least right now, I have become just a bit more aware.

So what happens now?

I don’t know yet.

What I do know is that I have found joy in my patience. I have found joy in sitting quietly with myself. I have found joy with my kiddos and Michael. I speak from my heart more clearly and honestly. I also feel things A LOT more, and that is hard at times. I am finding it is time for me to just trust. Trust that the universe, the higher being, whatever we call it, is going to guide me back. So, lets just wait and see.

In the meantime, I am going to sit more, be quiet more, love more, and try my hardest to be present in the moment. I am going to slip, but that is ok.


What can you offer yourself right now to bring your internal compass back on track?

Today I offer up one simple thing for you. Treat yourself to 10 minutes for yourself, and sit quietly. This can be a meditation for you or it could be a time to paint, write, reflect, but sit within your space, your heart, and your joy. See what arises for you.  These are baby steps toward your discovery of the internal compass that might be lost. Find joy and love and nourishment and be excited to see what grows from within you!